everything i do is for a reason

Im not an angel, I also can not be white as snow, like when I was a baby.
I am 20 years old now, there is now ton of problems in my brain. you who taught me to not show my problems in front of others. but if I am wrong if I am looking for an escape for it?

I also know the consequences, but do not make me feel guilty like this.

sorry, but i need Those thing.